Monday, ITV4, 10:00pm
Van Helsing (2004) is a glorious mashup of gothic horror and blockbuster action that knows exactly what it is—big, loud, and dripping with classic monster lore. Directed by Stephen Sommers, fresh off his Mummy success, the film throws all subtlety to the wind, delivering a rollercoaster of special effects, cheesy dialogue, and monster showdowns. The titular Gabriel Van Helsing (Hugh Jackman) is a reimagined, steampunk-tinged monster hunter with a mysterious past, wielding more gadgets than a Bond villain. His task? To stop none other than Count Dracula (Richard Roxburgh), who’s busy trying to harness the powers of Frankenstein’s monster for... well, something suitably vague and evil. Sommers has a “throw it all at the screen and see what sticks” approach here, and while it’s a wild ride, it’s got enough callbacks to Universal’s golden age of horror to keep fans of the old-school creature features satisfied.
Now, the soundtrack. The composer, Alan Silvestri, brings his signature bombast and flair, injecting a larger-than-life energy that matches the film’s tone beat for beat. Silvestri, best known for Back to the Future and The Avengers, really leans into the operatic side of Van Helsing. The film’s score is unapologetically over-the-top, with sweeping strings, menacing choirs, and thunderous percussion that punctuate every monster duel, chase, and Gothic reveal. The main theme itself feels like a throwback to those rousing adventure scores of the ’80s, with just a touch of the ominous, befitting a film where every frame is cluttered with moody skies and shadowy castles. And let’s not forget the influence of classic horror soundtracks here. The pipe organs and orchestral stabs harken back to those iconic Hammer Horror films—more than a little wink to Christopher Lee’s Dracula. Silvestri, ever the genre fan, knows how to ride that line between homage and fresh energy.
One of the delightful bits about Van Helsing is how it dips into just about every creature feature trope you can think of, with zero shame. Werewolves, vampires, the Frankenstein monster, even Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde make an appearance—and it’s all delivered with the enthusiasm of a hyperactive teenager who’s just discovered Mary Shelley. Sure, the dialogue may be as wooden as one of Van Helsing’s stakes, but that’s part of the charm. It’s hard to ignore that there’s a certain Castlevania vibe at play, too—the Gothic locales, whip-like weapons, and monster-fighting hero feel like a nod to the legendary game series. And let’s be honest, this film is a fever dream for those of us who spent too many hours locked in dungeon-crawling RPGs or reading pulp horror novels late into the night.
- Noel Chambers